You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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