D3 body, D1 cock
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I can't put those talents on a resume
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
