i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
