well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
