you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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