is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
