Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
