Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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