Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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