He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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