just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
