i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
