Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
