i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
