I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
