What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize