Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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