I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
