She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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