Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
