Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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