We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I love you. Go after that dick
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize