I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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