This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
