he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How does one acquire holy water?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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