listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We need to get me chipped asap
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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