You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
