i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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