We're facebook friends in real life
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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