If that was your dad, he is hot
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
