I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
