I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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