ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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