eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
