In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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