I murdered the dance floor call the cops
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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