I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
