I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
