He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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