The maid of honor just puked.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We have started to decorate penises.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
