ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
