You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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