he shaved USA in his pubs
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
