my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
