That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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