Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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