I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
