Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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