i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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