Four minutes until I can fart!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
