The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
