Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
