Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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