You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
As shirtless as possible
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize