Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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