sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i think i have herpe
just one?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
