I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
