HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
