im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize