i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize