Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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