Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
