help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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