Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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