Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
