yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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