I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
