Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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