I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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