how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
