i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's like God shit irony all over that family
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
