you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
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