I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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