It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
