I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
